"Who Are They?" A Question We Should Never Have to Ask

I recently dug through some of my old files and found a paper I wrote during my first semester of college. The topic of the unidentified dead was a relatively new topic to me at the time, yet I still felt an immeasurable interest in their cases. Some of those listed in this essay have been identified since the course concluded in late 2014. 

“Who are they?” A Question we should Never Have to Ask

In late 1979, Jane Doe is walking down a rural street in Caledonia, New York. She sees a car approaching but looks away, thinking nothing of it. As the vehicle reaches her, a loud noise rings out and a sharp pain explodes through her head. Instantly, she falls to the pavement and is then dragged to the side of a field and is shot once more. After the perpetrator is certain Jane is dead, he leaves the scene, knowing that all evidence will be gone, as it will rain tonight. Thirty-five years later, this victim is like the estimated forty thousand unidentified decedents – deceased men, women and children that remain unidentified, in the United States alone. A large number of such people range from young children to teens, many of which were murdered. One of the largest reasons such a problem exists is due to not enough being done to solve their cases, including creating accurate reconstructions and gathering physical information. Consequently, the vast majority of these cases have remained unsolved, as usually both the child’s name and their murderer have gone undiscovered for months, years or even decades.

            A frequent question that people ask is how a person’s identity could be unable to be obtained. Many different factors are involved. Decomposition is the most common case, where the remains of the decedent deteriorated until their bodies were found. Depending on the weather, it may take merely days or months before a person’s appearance is significantly changed. A girl’s body was discovered in 1980 in Anchorage, Alaska. The victim, aged sixteen to twenty-five, was completely unrecognizable due to skeletonization (NamUs, 2012). Her murderer has since been convicted, but the identity of the young woman, informally known as “Eklutna Annie,” has eluded police for thirty-four years (Houston Chronicle, 2012). To put into simplest terms, it’s easy enough to say that nobody could recognize someone if the decedent’s features are reduced to decomposing tissue or bones.

            Additionally, a person to remain unidentified could be due to dying in a different state or country. One young man, whose body was found in 1998 in New York, was found with a book translating French into English, strongly pointing to the possibility that he was an immigrant from a different country (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 2012). This victim in particular was skeletonized, like Eklutna Annie, and was murdered over a decade before (The Doe Network, 2012). In this case, time also plays a factor, as those who knew the victim might not be alive anymore. However, there are some cases where decomposition has not distorted a person’s face, but they remain without an identity.

            Although a victim may be found within minutes or hours after they die, their faces may be unrecognizable due to the trauma that they endured. A girl whose body was located in Yuma, Arizona in 1999 had been killed by a shotgun wound to her head (The Doe Network, 2011). Such an instrument would inflict many individual puncture wounds, which would be quick to disfigure one’s face, most definitely reducing the chances of the victim being recognized.

            The most peculiar cases of unidentified decedents would be when the deceased victims’ faces would be recognizable, yet the investigation would uncover little or no clues about who they were. Such a case would be that of a young woman discovered in 1979 in Georgetown, Texas, within a day after her death. The victim had been strangled, which left little to no trauma to her face (The Paris News, 1998). The victim, known as “Orange Socks” for the only articles of clothing she was found wearing, has had drawings of her identifiable face released across the country to no avail.

            More cases remain unsolved due to the errors in the initial investigation. Vital, distinct information used to identify decedents, such as DNA samples, dental records and fingerprints are never taken. Another reason is because a facial reconstruction (a drawing or a clay sculpture of the face) was never professionally created. Those who would come across the case would most definitely be unable to compare the victim to a missing person, due to lack of information. In the case of an Illinois murder in 1977, the victim was found recognizable but officials failed to examine his teeth and take his fingerprints, a tremendous error to identify him (Betz, 2011). Many victims today are identified through DNA analysis, as every person has a unique genetic makeup. Because DNA comparison was not used until the 1990s, this information was not possible to obtain (Jordan, 2007). Therefore, the potential of this victim being identified is fairly small, unless his remains are exhumed, which can be fairly expensive, as it may cost as much as $3,000 to dig the interred remains from the ground (WJBK-TV, 2014). Because of this, investigation for individuals who face similar circumstances is unnecessarily more expensive than it should be. 

The process for investigating cases of unidentified individuals in general tends to be very expensive. The cost of exhumation, DNA analysis, autopsies and facial reconstructions are individually costly on their own. A recently developed process is used by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) to reconstruct skeletal remains that creates digital copies of unidentified children’s bones and layering tissues over the computerized skull to show an approximation of what they may have looked like when alive, with the aid of CT scanners and photograph manipulating applications (Hicks, 2012). The biggest problem with such a program is that it costs a large amount of money but is extremely valuable because it is usually a reliable depiction of the deceased (Gallucci, 2012). Especially for those who have undergone several years without their identity, such a depiction is invaluable for solving the case, as those who knew the decedent would be more likely to recognize them.

Facial reconstructions pose a problem on their own. A basic form, where eyes would be drawn over a photograph of the body, would be created for those who are not in an advanced state of decomposition. However, according to NCMEC, a victim’s mortuary photograph does not usually depict an accurate representation of a person’s face, due to the natures of their deaths (WUSA9, 2014). As for the victim found in Yuma, her face was retouched of the wounds she received, but her features were still in an awkward position (NamUs, 2007). A reconstruction released by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children was created with a more advanced method and arguably looks completely different, as the artist made effort to show the victim with a natural facial expression.

 Another popular method used is reconstructing the victim in 3D, created after layers of clay representing the tissues of the face are added to a replica of the skull. The clay is spread to cover pegs of various depth inserted into the skull, representing the depth of tissue for someone of the age and race (Deem, 2008). An issue with these, as well as sketches is that some inaccurately depict the depth of tissues from the skull, resulting in an inaccurate shape of the subject’s face. Such an example is seen in the case of a teenager or young adult from Washington had her face reconstructed with both of these methods, but the artists responsible for two of the three reconstructions failed to illustrate the victim’s obviously square-shaped jaw. Therefore, these illustrated an inaccurate estimation of how she appeared in life. A third reconstruction was created, this time illustrating the correct shape of the face, but is of poor quality, as it makes the victim appear to be much older than she actually was (NamUs, 2007; The Doe Network, 2011). The fact that the victim may be depicted inaccurately can most definitely cause issues with the investigation process.

This problem on its own must be addressed, as police departments hiring forensic artists should put much more emphasis on experience and adequate education requirements for their employees. Opportunities for training exist in various places, including seminars at NCMEC, which are provided to forensic artists for free (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 2014). The program used to reconstruct the Yuma victim was Adobe Photoshop, as there was no need to create a CT scan of the skull, as this is not needed for those who have been dead for a short period of time, although it is used in some cases to make the CT reconstructions appear more like photographs, like one of Eklutna Annie (Meincke, 2014; National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 2012). If opportunities such as this were taken advantage of, there could be much more lifelike and accurate reconstructions, as programs such as Adobe Photoshop are considerably cheaper and are easily accessible, as this type of program is well known in our society.

What other establishments, including libraries, chambers of commerce and police stations should do is to also have such posters available for the public to see. The more exposure these cases receive, the better the chance of them being identified, as they are more likely to be recognized if more people see them. A way to bring attention to these unidentified children was in 2011 when NCMEC created a Facebook page dedicated to the cases unidentified in the United States. Already, multiple leads have unearthed additional information with several cases (WUSA9, 2014). To start a page on one of the world’s most popular websites is a great start. The issue with this is that other things need to be done to grab attention from those who do not use social networks such as Facebook.

            NCMEC uses one of the earliest methods to locate missing children, involving placing posters in several stores, such as Walmart, which have many customers per day. They have also created posters for unidentified children and young adults that illustrate their estimated physical characteristics and the most lifelike reconstructions available. However, although they are available online, unidentified victims are not often displayed across a state, impairing the need for awareness for unidentified victims. Nonetheless, at least a hundred children were identified by 2007 after their computer generated faces were released to the public (PR Newswire, 2007). With the new technology we have today, we can likely increase the chances of an unidentified victim to be returned to their family.

Although efforts made by NCMEC have made tremendous progress, there is simply much more that needs to be done. As mentioned before, methods of investigation are expensive, as well as reconstructions. To solve such a problem, the public must be made much more aware of this issue, most definitely increasing the chances of more donations, which would result in more means to further efforts of finding the true identities of these unfortunate victims. Some may state that investigation toward identifying these people would be a waste of time, as some have remained without their names for years, but for some, the answer would be correct, such as for that of a Wisconsin victim found in 1921. The child’s parents and his killer are more than likely deceased, which leaves no loved one’s questions to be answered.

However, some older cases are not hopeless. There have been numerous unidentified bodies from the 1960s and before that have been identified in the past few years.  Martha and Sandra Stiver’s bodies were identified in July 2014, forty-six years after they were murdered, in 1968. An individual came across their cases and submitted a tip to authorities, leading to their bodies being exhumed and tested for DNA (Burdo, 2014). A second notable case is that of Dorothy Gay Howard, whose lifeless corpse was found in 1954. It was not until 2009 when the victim’s DNA was compared to the then-missing person and resulted in a positive match, giving her family some sense of peace. There is also no need to pursue further investigation of the killer, as the man presumed to have taken Dorothy’s life was convicted and has since been put to death (Auge, 2009). If these cases weren’t enough, due to the efforts from NCMEC, a boy who died in 1852 was identified using their state-of-the-art reconstruction technique (Ruane, 2007). It is indeed clear that cases that are fifty or so years old can be solved – as long as adequate investigation is conducted.

            Ultimately, the fact that so many unidentified decedents remain without their identities needs to be brought to the public’s attention, in turn, resulting in more funding, leading to more means for further efforts to identify America’s unknown children. By updating more policies, giving advanced training to forensic artists to simply putting up a poster, more and more of these cases would become increasingly solvable, putting to rest a missing person’s family’s unanswered questions and providing closure to those who have become involved with these cases.

Epilogue:
The Jane Doe introduced at the beginning of this essay was identified as sixteen-year-old Tammy Jo Alexander in January 2015. Tammy was a runaway from Brooksville, Florida.
The Yuma victim was identified as eighteen-year-old Angel McAllister in 2017. She lived in a foster family and left when she became an adult.

Works Cited

Auge, Karen. "After 55 Years, Boulder Jane Doe's Story Finally Coming Together." The Denver Post, 15 Nov. 2009. Web. 05 Nov. 2014.

Betz, Dean. "Cold Cases: Forensic Expert's Project Could Resolve Decades-old Deaths." Newswatch. Houston Chronicle, 26 May 2011. Web. 05 Nov. 2014.

Burdo, Allison. "46 Years Later, Missing Girl Case Solved." NBC 10 Philadelphia. NBC, 7 July 2014. Web. 05 Nov. 2014.

Deem, James M., PhD. "Featured Netherlands Mummy Museums: Drents Museum in Assen: The Yde Girl, Reconstructed." James M. Deem's Mummy Tombs. N.p., 2008. Web. 09 Oct. 2014. <http://www.mummytombs.com/museums/nl.assen.drents.yde.reconstruct.htm>.

The Doe Network. "Case File 195UFAZ." 2011. Web. 09 Oct. 2014. <http://doenetwork.org/cases/195ufaz.html>.

"Case File 218UMNY." Web. 09 Oct. 2014. <http://www.doenetwork.org/cases/218umny.html>.

"Case File 296UFWA." 17 Nov. 2011. Web. 09 Oct. 2014. <http://doenetwork.org/cases/296ufwa.html>.

Gallucci, Jaclyn. "Identifying Princess Doe: 30 Years After She Was Slain, New Technology May ID Her and The Killer." LongIslandPress.com. Long Island Press, 2 Aug. 2012. Web. 30 Oct. 2014. <http://archive.longislandpress.com/2012/08/02/identifying-princess-doe/>.

Houston Chronicle. "'Eklutna Annie' Tells Tale of Alaska Murder - Her Own."  McClatchy Newspapers. 21 July 2012. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.

Hicks, Brad. "Unraveling the Jane Doe Mystery." FOX6Now. Fox News, 29 Feb. 2012. Web. 30 Oct. 2014. <http://fox6now.com/2012/02/29/unraveling-the-jane-doe-mystery/>.

Jordan, Michael, dir. "The Day the Music Died." Forensic Files. Prod. Vincent Sherry. HLN. Atlanta, Georgia, 14 Nov. 2007. Television.

Meincke, Paul. "'Jane Gary Doe' Images Released in Gary Cold Case." ABC7 Chicago. American Broadcasting Company, 3 July 2014. Web. 08 Dec. 2014. <http://abc7chicago.com/news/jane-gary-doe-images-released-in-gary-cold-case/154419/>.

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, "JANE DOE 1980." Missingkids.com. N.p., 2012. Web. 08 Dec. 2014.

"JANE DOE 1999." Missingkids.com. 2014. Web. 09 Oct. 2014. <http://www.missingkids.com/poster/NCMU/1224544/1#poster>.

 "JOHN DOE 1998." Missingkids.com. 2012. Web. 09 Oct. 2014. <http://www.missingkids.com/poster/NCMU/1224544/1#poster>.

"Forensic Imaging Training.” Missingkids.com, 2014. Web. 08 Dec. 2014. <"Forensic Imaging Training." National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 2014. Web. 08 Dec. 2014. <http://www.missingkids.com/Training/ForensicImaging>.

<http://www.missingkids.com/poster/NCMU/1184520/1#poster>.

National Missing and Unidentified Persons System. "NamUs UP # 489." NamUs, 30 June 2007. Web. 9 Oct. 2014. <https://identifyus.org/cases/489>.

"NamUs UP # 4845." NamUs, 13 Feb. 2009. Web. 09 Oct. 2014. <https://identifyus.org/en/cases/4845>.

"NamUs UP # 10217." NamUs, 1 May 2012. Web. 09 Oct. 2014. <https://identifyus.org/en/cases/10217>.

The Paris News. "Unidentified Woman 1979."  17 June 1998. Web. 09 Oct. 2014.

<http://www.newspapers.com/image/13810955/?terms=orange+socks>.

PR Newswire. "Technology Used by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children Helps Put Face on Child Who Died in 1852."Technology Used by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children Helps... PR Newswire Association LLC, 2007. Web. 20 Nov. 2014. <http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/technology-used-by-the-national-center-for-missing--exploited-children-helps-put-face-on-child-who-died-in-1852-58243332.html>

Ruane, Michael E. "After Years Lost, Identity Reclaimed." Washington Post. The Washington Post, 20 Sept. 2007. Web. 20 Nov. 2014. <http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/19/AR2007091902409.html>.

WJBK-TV. "Bodies Exhumed at Plymouth Cemetery by Police for DNA Testing." My Fox Detroit. Fox News, 10 Nov. 2014. Web. 20 Nov. 2014

WUSA9. "Help ID Unknown, Dead Children on NCMEC Facebook Page."  CBS News. 18 Apr. 2014. Web. 30 Oct. 2014. <http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/dc/2014/04/18/missing-children-dead-unidentified-facebook-kids-help-id-me/7873953/>.

Beth Doe Hits Home

The images shown in this article are not photographs and serve only as estimations of the subject in life. 

It was late December 1976 when a young woman's body was found in Carbon County, Pennsylvania. It's been nearly forty years and nobody has any idea of who she was. Nearly forty years. Nobody has ever answered for this savage crime. She's known posthumously  as "Beth Doe" and is buried in anonymously in a pauper's grave. She was no older than 25 and may have been as young as 14 when she was murdered. She was most likely born in a European country before moving to the United States, judging by scientific experiments conducted on her bones.

I'm not going into detail. The description of her case is horrifying and unthinkable to me, even though I've spent the last half of my life watching true crime television shows and spending hours every day reading about these crimes. Beth's is different. There have only been about five cases that have shaken me so heavily - and hers is at the top of the list, surprisingly being above the Jack the Ripper victims and the Black Dahlia.

What remains such a huge factor is her young age as well as the circumstances surrounding the case. Two days ago, a partial mortuary photograph surfaced. It wasn't like the two renderings shown above that are nothing more than an artist's guess of how she looked. The photograph showed only half of her face, yet it was enough to bring forward the sheer reality of violence that ended this young woman's life. I had read details about her case before and I was prepared ahead of time for what I would see. I never had a complete understanding of the disgusting, unsettling and gruesome murder that someone was actually capable of doing to another human being.

I knew I would cry when I saw the face that countless artists tried to recreate over the past four decades. I knew I would be angry and I knew I would feel grief. Frankly, I should have seen this coming, yet reality never hit me until a fragment of a faded photograph leaked online from a person on a photo-sharing website that carelessly made this excruciatingly graphic image public for all members of society to see.

My struggle with self-harm

This post received an Editor's Choice award on TeenInk. 

Last month, I sat in bed one night, having the usual symptoms of being a night owl. It was late at night and I was running out of things to do to stay awake. I walked as noiselessly as possible toward my bookshelf where I grabbed my freshman English class' publication of journal entries detailing events that "changed them," inspired by The Freedom Writer's Diary. I began paging through and suddenly, a small object slipped out from the book onto my pillow. I looked down and countless memories began flashing in my mind. It was my razor, long since forgotten, hidden from my family during some of my darkest days. It was one of the instruments that has literally left countless scars across my body. If you haven't guessed already, I'll confess that I have had a long history with the "phenomenon" of self-injury.

I began this traumatic journey at the age of eleven. It was the fall of 2007 and I had a shouting match with my mother. Out of anger, I had the idea to cut myself by using one of my pocketknives that I had stashed away for Boy Scouting events. I dragged the blade over my shin in several rows and watched tiny beads of scarlet liquid form at each small canyon in my skin. It was something that I thought I had invented, just another random impulse that I acted upon.

Months passed and I was living a dramatic life as an obnoxious and sensitive sixth-grade boy. I had gone through a bad breakup with my "girlfriend" of three months, whom I'll call Darcy. I was hurt that she had dumped me for some other boy in our class that she had little involvement with before he asked her out. The members of my posse of friends were polarized on which side to take on this ordeal. Some were angry with Darcy and others were angry with me for how I continued to harass my ex-girlfriend whom I thought I loved. The drama worsened to the point where I wanted to teach Darcy and her friends how much their words hurt me and I showed up to school one winter day wearing a short-sleeved shirt, exposing the various cuts in various stages of healing on my arms.

Things changed somewhat after this, as Darcy and some of her friends were upset about what I had done and I was sent straight to the guidance counselor's office. The woman assigned to work with sixth-graders was out of the office, so I was assigned to speak with the individual that interacted with seventh-grade students. Mrs. Poole hadn't come across as friendly when I had seen her before and she certainly didn't appear thrilled to be dealing with an angry four-foot-seven eleven-year-old. I answered her questions about why I had cut myself and even had to show her some places on my legs, which weren't visible. She asked me to take off some band-aids on my wrists, which I did grudgingly, to reveal nothing underneath. I had intended to give the impression that I had attempted suicide, along with cutting myself, to increase my chance to stop my constant conflict with Darcy and her friends.

I admit, I was looking for attention. I was going through a phase in my life where I craved sympathy from other people and would occasionally show up to school with cuts in order to restore the drama that had begun to settle. I know for a fact that everyone around me was tired of this, as I would always head down to the counselor's office to show my scarred arms and legs and my mother would have to drive fifteen minutes to bring me a long-sleeved shirt to cover my wounds.

The next year, I transferred to a nearby charter school to escape the trauma from the mainstream middle school. It was a new beginning, although one of my classmates whom had befriended me and did what she could to convince me to stop self-harm had also left the traditional school setting. I didn't relapse until the middle of my seventh-grade year. I had thrown away my last few months of "sobriety" after my depression returned. Surprisingly, I remember few details about this time, likely because of how insignificant my triggers were, such as getting yelled at by my teachers or having a squabble with my family members.

Eighth grade was a completely different story than my last two years of self-harm. By then, at the age of thirteen, I was beginning to struggle with my sexual orientation. Currently, I am living as an out-of-the-closet bisexual, yet at the time, I had the most difficult time to come to terms with myself. Every time I noticed I had desires toward other boys, I would cut, which eventually turned into a daily ritual. In the middle of the winter when my condition was at the worst, I was inflicting over fifty cuts across my body for each occasion that I felt was wrong to feel. I knew my family wouldn't be upset if I was to come out of the closet, yet I wasn't ready to accept myself for who I was. By late January, I made my first of six visits to a psychiatric hospital.

As usual, I would recover and stop cutting myself by spring and I soon began my freshman year of high school. My depression worsened to the point where I relapsed and spent every other week at the psychiatric hospital I had visited in early 2010. I eventually transferred in the middle of the semester from the charter school to the local high school, which was completely unfamiliar. Personally, I felt that I needed to move away from a learning environment that didn't quite work for me.

A photo of me in 2010, which illustrates my feelings at the time perfectly




Once I left, I had little to no friends and I kept to myself for the majority of the year. I appeared to be the average shy kid that nobody ever thought twice about, yet inside, I was screaming. I was stressed over a large workload of homework assignments and some harassment from bullies that had nothing better to do. I started pleading to return with a resounding "no" from my parents. I had already relapsed for the umpteenth time and there were new wounds every night. At several different times, I had attempted to take my life, thankfully by trying to cut my veins the wrong direction, as I was unaware of the lethal way to do so. Unfortunately, many weren't able to take my situation as seriously, as they believed I was simply a habitual cutter instead of a suicidal freshman.

The year passed and I eventually moved on with my depression and reduced my self-harming greatly. I was now a sophomore who was now used to the life of a high-schooler. There were still days where I cut, yet my mood began to improve once I began to show promise in my schoolwork. By the end of the semester, I had an excellent grade-point-average and my problems seemed to decrease as my grades got higher. I'd have to admit, my change for the better was by far helped by some encouraging new teachers, one of which was my open-minded English teacher, Mrs. Ryan.

Immediately after I wrote my first essay, I was complimented for my writing, which made me want to learn and do better. I'm proud to say that I aced every major essay for the two semesters that I had with her. Without having such a person as an instructor, I'm not sure if it would have been possible for me to change,

My junior year was more like my freshman year. Mrs. Ryan, along with another of my favorite teachers, Mrs. LaGreu, had been laid off due to budget cuts, which left me frustrated with less faith in the high school I had learned to love. I first noticed that this year was different once I ended up with a C in my chemistry class. I was used to getting mostly A's, and B's. My self esteem subsequently crumbled further when my grade deteriorated and I was soon slacking off in my other classes because my depression had returned with a vengeance. This was the year that fifteen-year-old Amanda Todd from British Columbia, Canada. The thought of suicide resurfaced and I soon became obsessed with "bullycides," which consisted of teenagers who were bullied to the point where they decided to end their lives. The case of Jamey Rodemeyer hit me the hardest, as he was a person in the same situation as I was, growing up as an LGBTQ student, although he was out of the closet some time before I would eventually have the courage to do. Jamey had a history of cutting and was open about his sexuality with his classmates, which resulted harassment that ended with him hanging himself in September 2011. I began expressing my feelings on an online blogging platform known as Tumblr. Surprisingly, there was a tremendous amount of other teens that suffered from depression, many of which I befriended.

My Tumblr picture (censored)

Self-harm is a very popular topic on Tumblr. Many have posted photos, videos and gifs (moving pictures) of self-inflicted injuries. It was then that I discovered new items to use for my own cutting; ones that would go deeper and draw more blood. Soon, I became like many others on the website. I started posting my own photos.

Cutting was my escape from reality. Scientific study shows that it released endorphins ("happy" chemicals) in the brain, similar to crying. It was my way to let my problems bleed out of the gashes on my legs and arms, some of which left puddles on my floor that were larger than my feet.

On a day in late 2012 or early 2013, I decided to post a self-portrait of myself with my cuts  and to write about my history with cutting. I was then overwhelmed by the amount of people who "rebloged" or reposted this insignificant-seeming image. As of two years and two months, the post has  had 3,600 reblogs and likes. There was so much popularity that even some of my peers at school saw. 

I deleted my Tumblr within months after my story was published. I decided that the only way I was to get better was to leave all of the negativity that I could in my environment. This choice may have even saved my life, as I still wonder if there would eventually come a day where drowning in my own and other people's sorrow would have been too much. However, I returned in late 2014 with a vow to refrain from getting involved in what had unknowingly caused me so much pain. Currently, all I post about includes Orange is the New Black, Jennifer Lawrence and various other popular topics in the young adult world.

As of my second semester in my first year of college, I am proud to say I have gone over a year without relapsing. The temptation still exists, yet I continue to remember that I owe it to myself, and potentially my children, to stay "clean" and live life to the fullest. It's not easy, I must admit, as there are always times where my depression overwhelms me and I am constantly looking for ways to relieve my stress.

My advice to current or recovering cutters: cry. It's easy to become numb when you've resorted to hurting yourself to feel better. I've found that one of the best ways for me to release my pain is to simply go to a quiet, locked room and to allow myself to deflate into a mass of tears. As I mentioned before, tears release endorphins, just as the pain inflicted from a blade will do. Another method? Draw on yourself with a pen or marker. By feeling the pressure of something or by moving something across where you would cut could somewhat simulate cutting without doing bodily harm. If it works for recovering smokers to hold straws or pencils between their fingers, it may help for a cutter to approach their problem in a similar manner, Recovering isn't easy, obviously, but it is definitely more realistic than it may seem.

It's personal: The Walker County Jane Doe

2015 reconstruction of the victim by NCMEC

This post contains sensitive details of violence that may be disturbing or triggering to some individuals.

In Huntsville, Walker County, Texas, on November 1, 1980, the face-down, naked body of a teenage girl was found lying near a highway. She'd been beaten, sexually assaulted and strangled. The victim's face was bruised and her mouth was ajar, as if her jaw had been broken. It's been thirty-four years and nobody knows who this arguably stunningly beautiful young woman was.

I usually refrain from writing about violent cases such as this on this blog, but this case is perhaps the closest unsolved murder to me and has made a significant impact on my life ever since I discovered it. I've shed countless tears and spent hours researching, hoping that we will someday be able to call her something other than "Jane Doe."

Walker County Jane Doe was a teenager, approximately fourteen to twenty. Upon the time of her death, she was at a healthy weight and appeared to have been raised in a middle-class household. She was found wearing a "smokey glass pendant" on a gold chain around her neck and a pair of reddish sandals with high-heels were carelessly thrown near her body.

The age and beauty of this victim is definitely a major factor to why I feel so close to this case. I am also determined to see it solved due to another thing - that she was brutally murdered. Walker County Jane Doe was beaten severely, as I mentioned before, but there is another gruesome detail - her killer had bitten her near the back of her shoulder. I'm disgusted by this; as it obviously wasn't enough to sexually assault and savagely abuse this poor girl. I hope one day I'll know who the son-of-a-bitch was, so I can see him pay for this heinous crime.

Researching about the unidentified fascinates me, as I crave to learn more about these mysterious people and to possibly help others find out who they were.The down side is that I often times come across images of bodies, many with strained expressions, such as this victim. For the longest time, I couldn't bear to see the face of this girl's body, which appears peaceful from the nose up, but illustrates a damaged neck and a gaping mouth, slanted open toward the left side. Some color photos are also available, which adds more grief, as anyone can notice the bruises. I often times cry when  I see these pictures, as it is truly horrifying how Walker County Jane Doe died.

A peculiar detail in the case is that it is believed that Walker County Jane Doe was seen alive the night before her murder. A girl matching her description was seen being dropped off by a man in a blue truck at a gas station.

The girl appeared to be a runaway; she appeared to have been sleeping in the clothes she was wearing. She carried high heeled sandals, similar to what were found next to the body of the Jane Doe. The girl spoke to the manager and requested directions to the Ellis Prison Unit, where she claimed she wished to visit a friend. It is unknown if this "friend" was a prisoner or a staff member. Either way, nobody could identify the girl when pictures of the victim were shown in the facility.

The girl had also been seen at the Hitch 'N' Post truck stop, which no longer exists, where she asked a waitress to draw her a map to the same prison unit. The waitress asked her age and expressed her doubts when the girl said she was nineteen. After the waitress asked where the girl's parents were, she was given the answer "who cares," which indicated that the Jane Doe was a runaway who was angry at her parents. The waitress also stated that the girl could have been from the towns of Aransas Pass or Rockport, both of which are located in Texas.

Debbie  McCall compared to a reconstruction of the Jane Doe

I personally am blown away that no missing girls were reported missing from either location that bore a resemblance to the victim. In fact, there are no missing girls from Texas at the time period that the Walker County Jane Doe was found that match her description. Those who did have long since been eliminated from the case as potential identities.

Awhile back, I came across the case of Deborah "Debbie" McCall from Downers Grove, Illinois. She has been missing nearly a year before the unidentified body was found. She matched the physical description, apart from eye color and even wore a gold chain around her neck, like the victim. The difference in eye color could be due to a mistake made by either the medical examiner or by the missing person report as well as clouding that may have occurred in the eyes after death, which does happen. Sometimes, eyes change color due to lighting, as I experience myself, as my eyes are blue but have turned green in bright sunlight.

Second comparison (middle image by Karen T. Taylor)

Debbie has been excluded from the case, yet I still believe there could be a chance that she could have been accidentally ruled out, as I've seen such a thing happen before. I'm not sure what method was used for the exclusion, but I believe that DNA should be compared between the two if it hasn't been already, as this method is the most precise way to exclude individuals.

I hope one day I'll be able to call this girl by her real name. I know thirty-four years is a long time, but old cases aren't hopeless. Most recently, the case of Tammy Alexander, which I've written about before was solved after thirty-five years. Another includes a man, Robert Daniel Corriveau, identified forty-four years after his death in 1968.

One thing that everyone needs to realize is that missing people need to be reported. Countless cases have been solved after someone makes the decision to file a report years and sometimes decades late. If you've lost touch with a friend: look for them on the web. If you're estranged from a family member whom nobody has heard from in a long period of time, do the same. If all else fails, file a report. You might just put to rest a mystery that appears unsolvable.

Tammy Alexander: Anonymous No More

It's definitely peculiar when the body of an unidentified person is discovered. This occurrence happens all across the world, especially in populous areas. There are an estimated 40,000 unidentified bodies in the United States alone. Many of such individuals remain unidentified for years. That's what happened when sixteen-year-old Tammy Jo Alexander in November of 1979.

Tammy came from an unstable household in Brooksville, Florida. Her mother abused drugs and often times erupted into furious tantrums, which many could agree was an undesirable way to grow up. This led Tammy to run away from home, hitchhiking as far as California, where her family would eventually pay for a flight to bring her home. Then, there was one time where she never came back, sometime between 1977 and 1979.

After her final disappearance, a teenage girl's body was found on the side of a corn field in Caledonia, New York on November 10, 1979. The victim was shot twice - once in the head and again in the back. Her killer then dragged her into the field, where she was found about a day later. Authorities were called to the scene but found no identification documents in her possession, possibly  being removed by the perpetrator, as her pockets were turned inside out. Days passed. Then months. Years. The police realized that they were dealing with a Jane Doe, later known as the Caledonia Jane Doe or as Cali Doe.

I first learned about this case in late 2008, when I began reading about murder victims, which became a fascination of mine. I then discovered that it was possible that a victim would not identified, including that of Cali Doe and Princess Doe, who were estimated to be only teenagers when they were murdered. Eventually, my interest with homicide victims as a whole began to fade away, as I chose to pursue more positive interests.

Five years passed and I stumbled once again on an unidentified person case when researching about forensic facial reconstruction,  which I was used to seeing on ancient mummies, such as King Tut. I then searched for more cases of unidentified individuals, which led me to discover The Doe Network, which is a database that covers cases across the world. I came across the file of a girl found in New York in 1979, which I eventually found out was the Caledonia Jane Doe. I found this very interesting, as I had read about this case before, but had never come across reconstructions of what she may have looked like when alive.

I read more about the case and discovered more information about the girl. Testing on her bones and clothing indicated that she was from Arizona, California,Northern Mexico or Florida, judging by the pollen found clinging to her clothes. This was  I also learned that she was likely to be a runaway - since she appeared to be wearing secondhand clothing and suffered from tooth decay and acne.

I soon began reading more about unidentified persons cases on the Doe Network, which covers thousands of cases worldwide. This led me somewhat astray from that of Cali Doe, but I definitely never forgot about her. Later in the year, my final project for creative writing was to create a play, which I eventually decided to write a fictionalized story about several unidentified persons with Cali Doe as a supporting character, who was a runaway from an abusive stepfather in Arizona. I was certainly a bit off with the actual location, as Tammy was from Florida, but I believed at the time that she was from the southwestern part of the country, additionally because of the Native-American-appearing necklace that she wore.

By January 2015, my hopes for the case being solved were dwindling somewhat. I knew that there would always be cases where a victim wouldn't be identified and was starting to believe that this case, which was quite close to me, wouldn't have a happy ending. She could have been from anywhere in the country and fit the description of countless missing children, many of which were excluded as possible identities.

While scrolling on my Facebook news feed, one of the pages dedicated to the unidentified posted photo of a smiling blond teen who was recently reported missing by a childhood friend. It was Tammy Alexander, who had likely run away from home in the late 1970s and would have her sister's mitochondrial DNA compared to that of the body of Cali Doe. I figured this was going to be another exclusion, as Tammy didn't look exactly like the body or the reconstructions of the unidentified victim and had a different hair color and style, although traces of blond were found in Cali's hair.

On the morning of January 26, 2015, I was scrolling on my Facebook news feed once again and saw a headline reading: LIVINGSTON COUNTY OFFICIALS TO IDENTIFY THE CALEDONIA JANE DOE. My eyes grew wide and I couldn't help letting out a short "oh, God!" and clicked the link, which stated that the DNA was a match with Tammy Alexander. I called for my mother who presumed something wrong had happened. I ran out of my room and into the hallway, where I embraced her and collapsed onto the floor in an explosion of tears.

I'd told her about my passion for unidentified persons cases before, but tried to cut back, as it wasn't exactly a cheerful topic to bring up. Nonetheless, I quickly told her the story of the Caledonia Jane Doe and the events leading up to the discovery of her identity. I knew she wouldn't exactly understand, but I didn't care. The mystery had been solved, in part, as we now knew who the Jane Doe was.

Although Tammy's body was identified, the individual who took her life has never been charged or identified. A man who was seen with Tammy at a diner has been named a person of interest, but the only clue we have is a rough FBI sketch of a young man wearing glasses. Now, authorities have decided to post billboards detailing the case on highways, which has proven to be a good way to find important evidence. Who knows? The case may eventually be solved.

This post received an Editor's Choice award on TeenInk. 

My first job

I walked in to Happy Harry's Pizza on March tenth, 2014. I was excited and nervous, as it was my very first job interview. Dressed in a green, flannel shirt, I nervously walked to the front of the restaurant and in a faint voice, I told the cashier what I was there for.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm here for an interview," I repeated, my voice croaking.

I was then ushered back behind the kitchen area, to a windowless room  where my future boss, Carlotta, sat calmly.

"I know you're here because you want the job, but why Happy Harry's?" she inquired.

Crap. I didn't prepare for this question. "I... well, it's better to work for a local place instead of one of those chain restaurants," I spluttered.

Agreeing with me, she moved on, reading off of the application that I submitted last week.

"So, you've done a lot of work in Boy Scouts and youth group. And you're an eagle scout."

"Yes," I repeated.

After forty-five minutes, Carlotta decided to hire me on the spot. "You seem like a really awesome kid," she smiled, "I'll have you start Monday at three-thirty."

Excited, I pushed my germophobia aside and shook her hand, even though she was suffering from an obvious cold. I did it. I got my very first job; a home run. I left with a huge smile on my face, but quickly wiped it off and, once I got in my mother's car, I told her I didn't get it. After she expressed her sympathy, I could no longer control myself and I grinned and told her I was just kidding.

"I can't believe it. You're a working man," she said.

Monday came along and I was supervised by a classmate who got the job two years before. She also happened to be my brother's girlfriend. We hadn't talked for several years, until recently, after we moved from grade school to middle school, as our learning environment got much bigger. We worked well together, despite that I'm quite shy. The day went well and I was excited that I had made my first $32. Sure, people complain about minimum wage, but I was grateful. At least now I could stop begging my parents for money to buy junk at Walmart.

The next day, Carlotta was working alongside us, with her husband, Ron. Soon, the time came to fill the cheese bin inside of the station. I retrieved a large, white bucket of mozzarella and returned. As I began adding to the supply, a large amount escaped my grasp and landed on the ground.

"What a waste," Carlotta complained, "pick that up."

Thinking nothing of this, I quickly grabbed the ruined cheese and returned after washing my hands.

Within a few weeks, I learned that Carlotta's mood was unpredictable. Some days, she would be quite chipper. When I would make a mistake, one day, she said, "Oh, no, don't apologize. It's alright." The next, she would tell me off. Most of the time, I would move past any negative statements she made and would continue working.

In late May, work became nearly unbearable. Two of Carlotta's star employees were quitting, as they needed to work at a summer camp or find a higher paying job. On top of that, one of her new employees was fired after he failed to show up for work. Because of the shortage of workers and the ever-growing amount of customers, my boss began to work alongside me. Now, she had only one mood. Anger.

The rushes gave me a lot of anxiety, which led to me working frantically, consequently resulting in a messy station. "I can't work like this! I'm cleaning up your mess." she barked. My face turned red and I continued on the order as she wiped the olives, onions and cheese onto the floor. Later that day, I was confused with an order. Somebody didn't want their garlic bread  baked. Most of the time, they were, or another employee would package the item after I finished putting it together. I made the garlic bread and then placed it on wax paper, accidentally bumping it into one of the pizzas nearby, which caused some sauce to smear on the wrapper. Once my monster of a boss saw this, she was quick to criticize me. "Unacceptable."

I then asked a quick question on how exactly to wrap the bread with the nearby plastic film. Carlotta grabbed the item and wrapped it herself. "You've worked here how long and you can't wrap a garlic bread?" she mumbled, loud enough for me to hear. By now, I was shaking. By the look of my hands, it seemed like I had just downed half-a-dozen energy drinks. As usual, I forced myself to continue.

By midday, there were more orders coming in. Carlotta even placed her own, which was currently in the oven with six other pizzas. The timer rang, and because I was impaired by the panic, I grabbed her meal from the ancient stove and placed it in the back, where the employees eat.

 After processing more orders. I glanced up to see her walking swiftly toward me. "I want my pizzas cooked!" she snarled.

Right now, I was at the point where I should have thrown my apron at her feet and said "fuck you, I'm out of here." But instead, I whimpered "do you want to spray that sheet with the cooking oil before you put it in again?" She responded by repeating what she said earlier.

The next day, I snuck into the back and placed my resignation and my two-week notice on her cork board. I was sick of her and Happy Harry's and needed to get another job that made me feel like I was going to relapse in major depression. I made it through within fifteen seconds, avoiding any confrontation from my verbally abusive employer.

Since my departure, at least three more people have left. It sounds bad, but I always liked driving past the restaurant and seeing her tacky HELP WANTED sign posted on the door, for the umpteenth time. Truth be told, she deserves it.

Unidentified persons awareness

Imagine leaving your home to go to work, school or getting groceries. It's a normal day and the sun shines vibrantly in front of you. But then, your life ends. It doesn't matter how, but it's over. You lose your friends, family, precious memories -- and your identity. When you body is found, within hours, days, weeks, months or even years, nobody knows who you were, despite that your face may have been recognizable, unique qualities such as scars, dental work and birthmarks could also be observable.
Over forty-thousand people in this country alone are faced with this problem. Decedents of all ages, races and sexes have spent years being known as "John" or "Jane Does," accompanied by mortuary photographs or facial reconstructions.

Reconstruction of the Glendora John Doe

In November 1979, a teenage girl was murdered and found a day after she died. Her clothing and jewelry were distinct and her dental information, fingerprints and DNA were all recovered with ease. She was nicknamed as "Cali Doe," named after the town she was discovered in. Her killer has never been found, although she was identified in early 2015 as Tammy Jo Alexander.

Moving forward,  some aren't as lucky as Cali Doe was. The partial skeleton of a male child was found in Glendora, California in 1984. Unlike Cali Doe, his fingerprints, clothing and DNA were not recovered. Examiner's weren't even sure if he was, in fact, male. However, they do know that he may have been of mixed race, possibly white and Asian and likely had hydrocephalus.

In 2012, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (abbreviated as the NCMEC) began a project on Facebook, dubbed as Help ID Me, which they launched to help identify America's unknown children. So far, 279 decedents have been added to their website. They began to digitally recreate the faces of these children and young adults, which involved scanning their skulls into machines and then adding layers of tissue and skin to digital skull in a fairly expensive computer program. For cases where the decedent had not been dead for very long, an artist drew over a sketch of a morgue photo, also with a digital program,

One case, of a girl who was discovered on Valentine's Day in 1988 in Millen, Georgia, a sketch was created earlier in the investigation. Recently, the NCMEC created a composite using the latter method, which looks somewhat different than the original. Hopefully with this new and more accurate technology, such cases will eventually be solved.

The girl found in Millen, Georgia in 1988. The NCMEC created the composite on the right.

What people do for the unidentified is extraordinary. Not only are their faces recreated, but countless websites feature their cases with information ranging from the location they were found and their physical descriptions, as well as missing persons who have been ruled out as possible identities. Such sites, such as The Doe Network and The National Missing and Unidentified Persons System have exceptional coverage and have even assisted detectives in identifying the unidentified.

Since late 2013, I have become fascinated with these cases and have even created multiple pages on Wikipedia about such people, including a young woman found in California. I also have a separate blog dedicated to the unidentified.